AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!

Who knew: you write a book and life spins out of control? I always imagined that I would write a book, be an instant success and have nothing but time on my hands for writing more books. Ahhh, those fairy tale dreams of a little girl...it seems so long ago. I was so naive.

As it turns out, you write a book and all hell breaks loose. I am Dorothy spinning in a cyclone of paper, appliances, rooftops and yes, large mammals heading forever upward in a breeze that not only dishevels the hair (as is evidenced by my TV interview) but the brain as well.

I have wonderful friends and acquaintences with all sorts of tips and advice on how to make the book, and my name, a bigger success. The problem is, I don't seem to have enough hours in a day to sort them out and get down to them. Can anyone say, dust wooly mammoths? Mount Laundry-more? Empy pantry-itis?

I know I shouldn't complain. I've accomplished several life dreams: I have a book in publication, I've been on the radio and TV. But it's like giving birth, this book o' mine. Once it's technically done, the work has just begun. Now I have to nurture it and raise it right so that it can be independent and successful and able to stand on its own long after I'm gone -which may be sooner than I thought if the tornado doesn't spit me out soon!

So, I'm on the hunt for that oh-so perfect publicist. You know, the one who will say, "Jenn, I love, love, LOVE your book! I will promote it endlessly, you just sit back and write your blog, your column and your next book (and do your laundry, floors and grocery shopping) while I shout about it from the top of every American rooftop!"

Don't mock me - I know he or she is out there....somewhere. Perhaps hiding in the shadows with my oh-so perfect agent and publisher. In the meantime though, I don't mean to neglect my blog, it's just so hard to reach the keyboard from this whirling dervish....I think I just saw Toto fly by!

EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS

I have lots of great things to share with you all! I'm so excited I could just burst - of course, I'll try to keep the bursting from happening until I'm finished with this post, otherwise how will you hear all the fabulous news?

Last week I was invited to Virginia Living Televisions show What's Going On as a guest. I was tremendously nervous and have no idea how I did. The show is set to air at the end of this week. Unfortunately it only airs on a Comcast channel in Culpeper and Orange Counties. The good news is that once it's aired the station will be posting the episode to their website and you can all watch and make fun of me - over and over again.

Just today I was on the air with Mario Retrosi on his radio show The Valley Today. This was my very first radio experience and it was so much fun I'm still high on life and barely able to sit still at my computer. If you click on the link above it will take you directly to their podcasts page - click on the date: Monday, March 1, 2010 (it has my name next to it) and you can download the entire 30-minute session where we talk about my book and healthcare. I have to say, if I ever decide the whole writing thing just isn't working out you may find me on the air somewhere! I never really know how I sound to other people - I'm very self-conscious about my voice and the general content of what comes out of my mouth. So...I immediately came home and listened to it and I have to say - not too shabby. It actually sounded like I was having a good time and knew what I was talking about - both true! So, yay! But, still feel free to listen to it over and over again and make fun of me.

Finally (drum roll please) I am pleased to announce that I have determined the winner of the Name That Column Contest! There were a lot of great entries - so many smart and clever suggestions and I really did have to think a lot about "what's in a name". So, without further ado, the winner is:

Maren

Maren came up with the great name "Best InTENtions". Cute and punny, just like me! This week I begin sending out pitch letters to every blasted newspaper in the tri-state area trying to get my new column syndicated. The column will be light and sometimes humorous, discussing green living and healthcare and each will have 10 tips for being a healthier, more money- and eco-savvy citizen.

Congrats, Maren! Please email your mailing address to me at jeheyns@gmail.com and I'll have your signed copy of Bargaining for Our Lives in the mail as soon as possible!

And thanks to everyone who participated.

NAME THAT COLUMN CONTEST

Calling all clever brains:

I am writing a new column and it needs a great name and I've come up short. I'm opening up the naming to you, my clever friends, to see what you can come up with.

The column is a weekly endeavor for local and regional newspapers. Each week I'll delve into one topic or item and list 10 things you can do about or with them. For example: 10 things you can do with an old pair of blue jeans, 10 ways to organize using 3-ring binders, or 10 marks to look for in a good doctor. The topics vary but generally deal with green living/recycling and healthcare.

The initial name of the column was "10 Things" but how dull is that? You can do better, I know you can.

To entice you further I'm making this a contest. Leave your suggestions for the new name of this column in the comments section of this blog post and I'll see if there's a winner in the bunch. If I select YOUR suggested column name you win a signed copy of my new book Bargaining for Our Lives .

On March 1 I'll announce the winner here (and probably all around the net, too).

Good luck - I'm counting on you!

PS. Just a little hint - I really like a good pun and clever alliteration!

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT #1,000,001

SCHOOL IS CLOSED MONDAY

Fauquier County Public Schools will be closed on Monday, February 15. Administrative offices will be closed as scheduled for President's Day.


NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................

I CAN FEEL THE LOVE

Valentine's Day has arrived and I can feel the love. The only problem is, I can't SEE the love! Touchy-feely stuff aside, I want to know for sure. I need hard concrete evidence. A spreadsheet would be nice.

My husband and kids? No doubt. No question. I know they love me - no daily report needed there. But, as you know, my book debuted on Amazon.com today and I was planning to spend my day watching the sales numbers climb. As it turns out Amazon is a faith-based operation...at least for 3-4 days at a time. Apparently I am not to know how much my amazing friends love me until my sales report catches up with me, which takes 3-4 days.

I am not a patient person. I don't know if I will survive 3-4 more days. I wanna know right now! Just imagine - I might have already sold a million copies. Maybe I've only sold 5. But I gotta know! Am I a genius or a joke? It's killin' me.

All I can say is, that I, too, have faith. My family, my friends, and even many people I don't know have been very supportive and positive about this exciting endeavor of mine. I can feel the love coming my way. I probably haven't sold a million copies of the book.....yet, but I know that good things are coming due to amazing people like you.

And if my loving husband and children can distract me enough over the next 3 days I might just live long enough to see how the book sales are going, too.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody and if you are reading this - you are loved!